saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
