summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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