It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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