I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
