yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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