If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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