Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
