I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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