when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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