everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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