I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
