Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize