Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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