put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
