accomplished twins. life is a go
ugly people sure do ruin things
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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