she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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