She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
