I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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