he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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