THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
