You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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