Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
