Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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