:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
