So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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