i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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