Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
