no, he came in my armpit
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
