When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
