my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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