I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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