He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
