Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
