i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize