So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
