Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
