I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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