halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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