your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
