hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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