let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
