her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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