what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
