He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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