So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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