I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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