I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
