i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
