Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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