R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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