In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I checked into jail on foursquare
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
