My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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