I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize