She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
