..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
