problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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