Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
