I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
