are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
