What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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