Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
