all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
