so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
