You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
