the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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