We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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