Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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