last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
