I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
