oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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