hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
